No Net

For the first time in a long time I am experiencing feelings that usually were relegated to the relationships that I have been in and the newness thereof. The upset stomach, anxiety, can't sleep, can't stay focused very long, I have become good at coming up with challenges for myself once upon a time those frivolous anxieties that were borderline obsessive towards my relationships have transferred into my writing. The difference between Dapper Carter’s 5 Fatale` Flaws and 8 Rules of Dating is that the latter was an eight year process. I had rewritten, polished, cut, and accepted various opinions from several friends, family, and people in the entertainment industry that I trusted, so I knew I had a viable entity. But with the new one I didn't let anyone read it. I call it my "I can't hear anything but my music like Prince in Purple Rain" phase and part of me just wanted to let it hang out free and expose the nerve endings on the words and the feelings that I had written for all to see and scrutinize freely.

Call it vanity, calling it looking for a new challenge, call me arrogant or even stupid but I realize that the more people read my work then the more self-doubt will be creep into my already fragile artistic psyche. But I have an ego, which is a huge issue in the new book. I deal with ego, self-doubt, insecurity, and ways that we sabotage ourselves, holding ourselves back subconsciously as well as consciously at times, continuously allowing for mediocrity and to come up just short, not reaching our full potential.  But then I also thought, “what if they like it?”

Then one night I watch this guy walked across the Grand Canyon with no net and his mortality on the line and I thought to myself how silly it was for me to be worried about what people think about me and whether people accept my humble point of view in a fictitious story or not. But it wasn’t just fictitious. It was rooted in reality. The reality of the view I held of the world. I needed to let it go and be free to have its own legs and to stand alone realizing that it served its purpose simply by being created.

By letting it go I did accomplish one thing. I cured myself of the fear of the failure consciously and the fear of success subconsciously.

No net.No brakes. Full throttle.

I had come to the conclusion that hopefully people like it, and if they don’t, hopefully they really hate it. (not true)

Release date July 11,2013